Almost Crazy...

Have you ever wondered if you were crazy? Experienced anxiety?

Not just a few twinges about getting into the dentist's chair, but a complete, heart pounding, gut wrenching, sweating shut down over something that any other person would probably not even notice?

Have you ever cried, for no reason...no discernible, obvious reason?  You just feel helpless, or hopeless or powerless to deal with whatever the day is bringing to you?  Or, you sleep.... you sleep all the time.  You are heavy-lidded  at 10 a.m., focusing on getting the dishes done is overwhelming and trying to order a birthday cake for your daughter requires deciding what flavor, what icing, what to write on it... its all just too much?  And if you are not sleeping, you are crying.

What's wrong with you?

You've planned trips to Africa for your boss, and moved 5 times and each time everything was in boxes labeled room by room for the movers and you had the whole house set up within days after moving- pictures hung, wallpaper stripped and walls painted and now you can't even open a phone book and find a rental truck?

Are you crazy?

Have you completely lost it and are ready for the rubber room?  Do you picture rows of pharmacy bottles, all with your name on them, lined up in the bathroom- take a little yellow pill, a little blue pill and you will feel better....maybe?

The diagnosis is probably stress-related depression and you're in for a bumpy ride.  But, hey, look on the bright side- may you can use it, I mean maybe it might work for you as a new character.  Someone with vulnerabilities.  Someone that creates simpatico?

Putting real-life experiences into character's lives make them more believable.  We are with them as they work through their fears, their insecurities, their dark moments that might secretly rule their lives.  It can be liberating for the writer and the reader as well because everyone has a weakness, a vulnerability or fear that might cripple them in certain situations and perhaps finding a fellow character with the same symptoms can be liberating!

You meet characters in strange places sometimes.  just yesterday, for example,  I met a new character at a stop light.  He was standing on the corner, a barely 5 foot tall, very round little man with a balding head.  His slacks were so wide at the top and his legs so short that the pant legs actually ballooned up from his knees to his waist and that made me think of Tweedle Dum.

He was muttering something to himself and kept putting up the newspaper to read and then putting it back to his side.  Was he crazy?  He looked a little strange, but crazy?  I looked at him more discerningly, he definitely was not a street person, his shoes were shined and his hair nicely cut, and yet.... there was something not quite right.  He caught me looking at him, I felt awkward and looked away...making eye contact with crazy people is never a good thing.... but I couldn't help it, he sort of fascinated me.  I looked back at him and he stared for a second and then smiled at me!  A careful, cautious ...crazy smile?  I smiled back as goose-bumps rippled down my spine. "Thank God, I'm in my car with the doors locked," I thought.  But I knew, right then and there, I had just met Colonel Heinze von Dumschneider of the Great German General staff!  Chapter 6 had found its leading man!

Here's looking at you!

Linda